We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
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