I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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