the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
