do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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