she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
