return my video game
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
