sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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