You're my little dorito
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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