ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
