I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
