Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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