we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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