it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
