i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
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