I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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