I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
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