I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
