did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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