Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
