Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
actually, I'm a sock model
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I did not marry a roomba.
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