overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Someone came in the potted fern
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
