I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize