she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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