Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
