That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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