I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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