How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
My vagina is very pro this idea
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
