escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
the day after is always just damage control
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
