apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
How external is "for external use only"?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
