She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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