Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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