i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
