i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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