I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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