need another drink. this is the easiest way
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
third nipple confirmed
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
