omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
