Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
