Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
