The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
