Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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