i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Of course I have a pirate flag
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
