It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i dont even know how to be here
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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