Define "chronic" masturbator.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
