Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
