What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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