Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
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