No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
It's blow job season.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
