Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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