It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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