I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
